final. blog.

* What have you learned throughout this course? What do you know now that you didn't know before? What have you gained?


What have I learned throughout this course? Hmm.. I think that's kind of a loaded question. I think that I was lucky enough to learn a lot throughout this course, at least a lot more than I thought I would. For one this course definitely made me open my eyes to different kinds of books. When I first took a look at the reading list for the semester I was a bit intrigued, I recognized some of the titles so that immediately made me a little more excited about the course.  Push, Yo, and The Vagina Monologues were the first books that caught my eye because they are some of the more well known books on the list. I hadn't heard of any of the other books.  I found the first two books, 19 Varieties of Gazelle, and Krik Krak, to be extremely boring, after we finished with those I was kind of like, "ugh here we go again, another boring english class," but as we got into The Vagina Monologues that's when I really started to get into the course.  After reading one book that I liked I found the other books to be not as bad.  So I think that played a big role in keeping me open to the other books in this course.  This course also kept me open to different writing styles.  Fun Home was by far the most interesting book in terms of it's style.  I had never read a graphic novel before so that was very different for me.  I found that I am not a big fan of graphic novels, I found it a little difficult to pay attention with all of the pictures and words everywhere.  19 Varieties of Gazelle was a poem book which I also found unappealing.  For me it was difficult to connect the poems because it wasn't really a story. Well it was but not in a normal sense. Each poem told a different story but they all didn't directly connect which made it unappealing for me.  Something that I found out throughout this course that I didn't know before was that I enjoy the writing style of vignettes.  The Vagina Monologues, I am an Emotional Creature, and 2 or 3 Things I Know for Sure, were some of my favorite books during this course and they were all vignettes. I'm not exactly sure what it is about this style that's so appealing to me. But I like how each story is its own.  It's longer than a poem so I can start to get lost in it, but it's not so long that it starts to get boring.  With each of those books I found myself able to related to many of the stories which made reading them all the more fun.  Something I also found out was that I really dislike books that I can't find any way to connect to.  Some of my least favorite books were 19 Varieties of Gazelle, Krik Krak, and When the Emperor Was Divine, and I think that the reason I wasn't able to really give those books a chance was that I couldn't find any connection, so immediately I was standoffish to those books.  What I have gained the most from this course is an appreciation for different styles, authors, and topics.  I have a favorite woman author, Jodi Picoult, but Eve Ensler has shoved her way into my heart with these two books and the movie that we were fortunate enough to see.  She has opened up a new way of looking at things for me and it something that I will keep with me forever. 

Two or Three Things I Know for Sure 2

With Two or Three Things I Know for Sure, I still find myself stuck on the family dynamic of the book.  I just don't get why Dorothy's mom and aunt were so secretive when it came to the family tree, I'm not sure what they were trying to hide from here. Like what could have been so bad, or what did they have to be ashamed of? I come from an open family so it just makes me wonder why they are so against sharing things with Dorothy.  I was also not a fan of the way the men is Dorothy's family treated the women.  The fact that it was an autobiography made that worse.  I hate to think of women being abused in any way and verbal abuse is definitely a no-no.  I guess what made me dislike that so much is that obviously I'm a woman so I wouldn't want to be treated like that. But I have grown up in a family where the women are cherished and almost put up on a pedestal.  If a man in my family were to refer to any woman as an 'ugly bitch' or anything else along those lines there would be repercussions.  It's appalling to refer to a woman like that, any woman: daughter, wife, sister, mom, niece, grand child. It's disgusting so I was almost offended reading those words.  I think the men in Dorothy's family need to have more respect because women do a lot for them. Women did much more for men back when this story was set than they do now. So it's shameful for them not to appreciate it.  I'm still a bit hung up on those things and can't really get passed them at the moment.

Two or Three Things I Know For Sure 1

The latest book we are reading in class, Two or Three Things I Know For Sure, caught my attention really quickly.  It's probably one of my favorite books we have read in this class so far.  Dorothy Allison jumps in immediately and it catches my attention nicely.  One of the first things DA said that caught my attention was the mention of her big family.  Immediately it made me think of my own family, my mother is one of 9 and my father is one of 14 so I plenty of aunts, uncles, and cousins.  The story about the family tree also brought back another friendly memory.  I can remember a few times where I was given this assignment in class and I had to make a condensed version of my family.  Unlike DA's mother, my mom always welcomed this project.  I'm still not sure why her family was so opposed to helping Dorothy fill out her family tree, but I guess I'm happy my family always helped me fill out mine.  "All through the funeral rituals, we acted as if we had become careful strangers." DA's story about her mother passing away ended up being sort of a tear jerker for me.  While I have luckily not had the misfortune of having a parent pass away, I have had plenty of relatives pass away and I can relate to taking myself as out of the moment as possible and pretending I was somewhere or someone else. As I got further into the story I still couldn't really find a reason why DA's mother keeps so much hidden, or is so reluctant to share information with Dorothy.  I'm not sure if it's a lack of trust, or a fear of sharing. I don't know and it's kind of bugging me.  Perhaps it's because I can relate to looking at photos and asking tons of questions and wanting to learn more, and being told stories upon stories of the people in the photos.

The Shawl 3

Rosa's reaction outside the hotel was extremely intense.  In class we kind of agreed that she was probably a little crazy or insane when she bugged out at the manager, but I believe it was a little more than that.  I really believe that Rosa felt her independence and freedom were being put in jeopardy by the fence blocking the beach.  It brought back some not so fond memories of the camps.  Her rant about Dr. Tree was very random and I do think she had a few screws loose in her head.  The barbed wire signifies to Rosa being trapped or even kind of captured, and obviously she was traumatized by the Nazi's in the concentration camp she was detained in and she doesn't enjoy the feeling of being trapped or not allowed to go somewhere.  Although Rosa lives a life where she kind of puts herself back into her past by depriving herself of luxuries and things she doesn't feel she deserves, it is all her choice. And I think she freaked out at the manager of the hotel because he was denying her of a freedom or a liberty and she didn't like that feeling. Since Rosa's rant about Dr. Tree was so random and brought on by nothing it did appear out of place and strange.  I don't think the manager knew what was going on I think he was ambushed a bit by a semi-crazy woman.  Rosa lives her life in the past so she thinks that the world is out to get her, which is also partially part of the reason she has such a strong reaction to the hotel manager. I think she is just an extremely confused woman trying to get through the misfortunes she has gone through in life.

The Shawl 2

The character Rosa takes quite the emotional journey throughout the book.  She is traumatized in the concentration camps by the brutal Nazi's and she is devastated by the murder of her young daughter Magda. Her daughter's murder was truly a tragedy, Rosa was doing such a good job of hiding her and then Stella ruined it by taking the shawl.  Although I don't really know what Rosa was like before being in the concentration camps I do believe that experience changed her.  It is impossible to watch your child get murdered and not be affected.  After Rosa is out of the concentration camps she moves to the States with Stella and she builds a successful life, she owns an antique store and does well for herself.  Rosa doesn't believe that she deserves the life that she has built for herself so she smashes everything she has worked for and it all crumbles in front of her eyes.  Rosa is very much in a victim mindset.  Her experiences in the concentration camps have left her almost living in the past.  She doesn't believe her present or her future deserve to be bright.  She wants to live in the dark, dark, dark.  In Florida, Rosa lives in a grimy hotel, which resembles more of a black hole than a hotel.  She deprives herself of everything she truly deserves. After her traumatic experiences she deserves to live the best life possible but she continues to tell herself that she is a victim, and shouldn't.  She writes letters to an imaginary Magda trying to keep her memory alive but I really think it is more harmful than helpful to her.  By writing letters to Magda she lives in the past, a past that has hurt her immensely. She doesn't know how to take those experiences and grow from them. All she lets herself know is how to be a victim.

The Shawl 1

The opening of this story makes me believe that the shawl is some sort of symbol of protection or safety.  The little baby girl Magda is wrapped in the shawl and as long as she's in the shawl nothing can hurt her. Not the weather or the lack of food. Rosa and Stella even go as far as saying it is magic because it manages to keep Magda alive for three days without food.  Even though Magda is extremely malnourished but she still manages to live for some time and learn how to walk.  The shawl also has some sort of magic mystique because it manages to hide Magda.  Magda helps out her cause by staying quiet.  "Then Stella took away the shawl and made Magda die. When Stella steals Magda's shawl she runs or hobbles in search of it and manages to get taken by a Nazi soldier when Rosa goes to get the shawl for her.  The shawl's magic runs out when it's not with Magda and Magda dies.  While I really don't think the shawl was 'magic' I do believe there was some mystique to it.  It was a little safety blanket that made Rosa feel better about Magda. Stella was definitely jealous of Magda and her magic shawl.  I think Stella was extremely jealous of the love and care that Rosa gave to Magda and she just wanted to feel some of that affection.  I don't think that Stella went about things the right way and I don't think she caused the death of Magda it was definitely just a bad coincidence.  She was just searching for a bit of protection and safety for herself.  In the concentration camps you never know when your time is going to be up, so I think Stella was just looking for something to make herself feel better about everything.

Emperor 2

I really liked the in-class writing question that we had on Friday so I would like to continue my blog post on that.  To me the clear answer to the question about the horses was that they represented freedom and they kind of represented the Japanese as well.  The horses were brought over by the Spaniards and freed, but they aren't free forever. At least not all of the horses some of the horses are captured by cowboys, according to the daughter.  When I read that line I immediately began to think of the horses as the Japanese and the cowboys represented the American government.  The cowboys think they can do whatever they want and capture the horses whenever they feel like it just like Americans and the American government think that they are entitled to everything and can do whatever they want as well. The horses are just kind of innocent creatures that have been freed and allowed to run wild, similar to the Japanese.  They have made the trip over to the United States they want to work towards the best life possible and the Americans are intruding on their freedom.  They come in and take, take, take. Just as the cowboys do. The horses represent freedom because they are everything that the boy and girl aren't right now.  They are allowed to run free and do as they please. But these poor children have been uprooted from their lives because of the choices of a few of their kind.  A large group of Japanese people ruined it for everyone and it is very unfair. So I believe that the horses represent the freedom that these kids wish they had again.  The horses are also kind of a representation of the American dream for immigrants.  They were brought over by people and set free and allowed to make what they could out of the world.  The mother came over from Japan and had 2 children and has tried to make the best out of this great opportunity she was given but there's people intruding on her dream just like there are people intruding on the lives of the horses.